Day 74 - Spock Ears and Long Lunches

Today was a very nice day, filled with a new beginning and not surprising but sad nonetheless ending.

Starting with the bad news, Zach has been fired. All of his tardiness and dodging of responsibility caught up with him, and Saturday is his last day. I thought that he handled it very well, he told me that if he was a manager he would have fired himself too. The fact that he worked there at all was ridiculous. He doesn't have a car, and lives outside of the city, so he had to travel 4 miles to a train stop, ride the train for 45 minutes and then walk a mile to the bookstore. All for a minimum wage part time job. I think that it would have been hard for anyone to sustain. He has ears like Spock, he is charismatic, and he was funny, I'm going to miss him. This is one instance when facebook can be used for good instead of evil.

On a positive note, my lunch with Teresa was very nice. We went to a local cafe and the club sandwhich that I ordered was amazing. I told her about my quasi-disastrous interview at The University of Chicago, and she completely understood. She currently works for the university and has observed how snotty the faculty can be to anyone who is not working in an academic field. She plans to work in her current position for a few years and then transition to something that is closer to her interests. I have been thinking that if I don't get that position, I would be dodging a bullet, and if they offered it to me, I might decline. I would be struggling to prove myself all the time and constantly battling a negative perception. I don't really know what I'm going to do, but I was glad to get her perspective on it. The conversation flowed to the contrast between how people act in Arizona versus the behaviors out here. We have had some similar experiences and it was good to reflect, share and laugh about it.

Since I took an extra long lunch, I stayed later at work. By the time I got home, watched a couple episodes of Mad Men on the Roku, twisted up my hair, talked on my phone, had a few dance breaks courtesy of Beyonce and Drake, I was not feeling too bad about my Friday night at home. 

Day 73 - It's Cathartic

After careful thinking and a tweaking of the privacy settings, I have decided to continue with my blog. It is cathartic for me. There are still very personal elements of my life that will not be published on here, when I look back on the things that I have written I don't think it is too incriminating. Even if no one ever read it, it is important to me that it exists. This speaks to why I love archives so much, they reflect the authenticity of a moment, before our memories omit data and fill in the blanks with details imagined. If this blog was ever released to all the people that are mentioned in it, they would know how they impacted me. When I read it, I can remember my experiences clearly and try not to repeat the same mistakes. I still keep a written journal, which is completely out of control compared to the content of this blog. Also, in this digital format, I can sort and organize ideas and search for particular instances, much easier than a traditional journal. It also gives me something to commit to every night while I am in this state of flux.

I had my interview at Johnson Publishing Company this morning. I drove down there and arrived extra early and spent time in the 70's inspired lobby of this building. The walls had wood paneling, there was a giant geometrically patterned rug on the floor, and very sleek low to the ground red leather sectional couches. A very modern and abstract blob shaped sculpture protruded from the wall and the elevator doors stayed open on the first floor until someone called them up. I met with Mindy and Leigh who have been contracted to quickly process the 3600 linear feet of photographs and ephemera in the company's collection. They explained that they were targeting students and recent grads for this project because they can't offer alot of benefits, but it is good trench work experience for people in my position. I agreed, I also learned how they came to their position, and it was cool to see how they arrived at archives, one from a history background, the other from an art background.

Between the three of us, there was a training in content, in format, and in process. It does go to show that there are many ways to arrive at a chosen career path. My quick walk through the filing cabinets and opening random drawers revealed photographs of random celebrities like Robin Williams and Nelson Mandela. It was fascinating to me, but they stressed that the people they hire will need to be very focused and quickly, yet accurately get through as much of the files as possible. The interview was quick and informal, and I am very optimistic that they will be giving me an offer.

From there, I went to spend my Target gift card and finally buy a big winter coat at Burlington Coat Factory. Shopping was fun, I found all kinds of good deals. It was raining, but that was okay. By the time I got back to Hyde Park, found something to eat and returned my materials to the library, I was ready for a nap. I have to work on Friday and Saturday, so I didn't feel bad for making the most of my day off. After the nap, I decided to re-structure my closet. Now the jackets are all lined up from light to heavy. Next comes the sweaters and cardigans, then the button up shirt, finally the skirts and dressy tops. I folded up all the summer dresses and placed them in the hanging shelves, below the scarves, purses and belts. All the jeans and pants are folded in another set of hanging shelves. I put more items in the chest of drawers and I am content with the re-newed sense of order.

I wrote thank you letters to the interview committee from University of Chicago, watched X-Factor and Grey's Anatomy, and cooked my last pita pizza tonight. Tomorrow is an early day, maybe I will get through a few pages of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell before I go to bed tonight, I'm determined to finish it even if I haven't picked it up in weeks, what a shame...

Day 72 - Censor Face

A woman that I admire a great deal asked me to reconsider the posting of any thought that I have in a given day. Perhaps I will re-consider the format. To be continued...

Day 71 - Interview Blur

I made it to work this morning, and did not stop working until 3:15. The store was consistently full of people. It worked for me because I had all kinds of butterflies about this interview. I changed my shoes, put on some makeup and made it across the street to the hospital at 3:30. I met Coleman and Rebecca, they let me put my stuff down and gave me an agenda for the afternoon. I was to meet with  Gavin, Ellie and Kathy in separate 15-20 minutes intervals.

Gavin was definitely the worst. The more I reflect on our discussion, the more frustrated I am. I wish that I would have said more in defense of myself. He had taken all kinds of notes on my resume and asked me why I thought I would be a good fit for this position. I was explaining my skills with communication, coordinating programs, working with faculty and event planning, and he took a few notes. He says we are weighing pros and cons, and my lack of experience in a health science discipline and my degree in library science were cons, he didn't mention a pro. He said that there wasn't a wrong answer, but could I explain what a residency is. How long do they last? What happens afterwards? He asked if I would leave if some library offered me a position. If I was looking at other positions right now, more tailored to my archives goals. He also asked if the bookstore would mind if I quit after such a short time? I was honest and in retrospect, he will probably use my answers to argue that I wasn't a good fit, and won't be devastated if they don't pick me. He wasn't outwardly mean, but I felt like I was slipping away from consideration throughout the entire discussion, not a good feeling on the first pitch.

I had a short break and then I met with Ellie, who Rebbecca told me was chosen to give me more of an idea of the office culture there. Ellie was the most welcome contrast from Gavin. She was about my age, dressed casually and just asked me to tell her more about myself. She explained that the position I was applying for was entry level, and her interaction with the incumbent was minimal. Since they share the space and similar objectives, it is good to have some rapport. She emphasized personality and attitude over content specialization, citing that after her master's degree in social work, she didn't expect to be managing budgets, but she is happy working on the administrative side of social services. We talked about our my preferred management styles and my preferences toward autonomy seemed to match how they work in this office. It was more of a conversation than a question and answer session.

Lastly, I was introduced to the executive director, Kathy. She did the best job of explaining what the nature of the position and the unit within the Biological Sciences Division. When faculty members get grant funding they drop it off with the CCTS, and we help them spend it on curriculum development. There are high stakes with making sure that the faculty are happy and continue to work with us, and that all of the grant objectives were met. She actually said from one sociologist to another, I haven't identified my profession with my undergraduate degree in awhile. She wanted to know more about my strengths. The most poignant question that she asked which seemed to be in line with what Rebbecca had mentioned were the various nuances that come with working with faculty. They are busy people and I would have to not take things personally when I don't get the results with my first attempt. She talked about relationship building and resilience. I liked her alot, she seemed engaged when I was talking and although she was serious, she didn't hesitate to crack a smile every once in awhile. She is going to Colombia in a few weeks, but she would be communicating remotely when they moved forward with the new hire.

There you have it, the ghosts of Career Doom, Career Rapport, and Career Potential. After all of that I sat down with Rebbecca and Coleman and de-briefed. I asked them again about that health science background and explained my concerns from Gavin's comments. Once again they were very encouraging about me having a competitive skill set, and that there was much for all of them to learn along the way. They also said that Gavin was relatively new and might not have a strong grasp of the nature of this position. I thanked them for being so patient about my recurring concern, and they said it was fine. I finally asked about salary and they didn't know, so Rebbecca is supposed to follow up with me this week, as soon as she hears from HR. I asked few additional questions and then we wrapped up, just under two hours after I arrived for the interview.

One thing that Coleman said that stuck with me is that the current staff dynamic is evident of people coming from diverse backgrounds, and growing within their roles in the Center. Essentially, it doesn't matter if I can't check off every box in the job description, I am bringing enough. With that being said, I think that I have a chance. They said that it would take at the most two weeks to get back to me. I will try to stall anything else until I hear from them.

In other news, my straight hair is no more and I found some tall rubber rain boots. I'm ready to step in some puddles!

Day 70 - It's the little things

Since I didn't have to go to work until noon, I made the most of the morning and ran some errands. I went to the library, the post office and the bank. The nice thing about Hyde Park is that everything is in the neighborhood, I might have traveled a mile round trip. I would have ridden my bike but I had that bulky computer box to take to the post office. To reward my productivity, I stopped at Treasure Island (America's most European Grocer (real slogan)) and found a fresh apple turnover. When I ate it, I found that it could use a little less apples and a lot more pastry. Perhaps the way I got it was for the best. When I got home, I talked to Lauren for a little bit and then headed to work.

Once again the store was crowded with students trying to get their textbooks. At this point much of our inventory is depleted, so it kind of frustrating to send students to our competitors in order for them to get their books on time. I do my best and try not to let my co-workers or our customers stress me out. The bookstore is in an antiquated building, the elevator access to the second floor is behind a locked door. Whenever a customer with a disability uses the elevator, they have to knock, then we have to unlock the door and let them in.

Today a nice young woman with a seeing eye dog came up through the elevator and I let her in. I couldn't tell how sight impaired she was, but when I was explaining where she could find her books, she asked if she could hold my arm and lead her to them. I said sure, I found her books, narrated all of my movements, and walked with her through the elevator and back downstairs to the cash register. I couldn't believe how insensitive our store was to the needs of people with disabilities. The aisles are narrow, and the placement of materials is very convoluted. I don't know how she could have done it without assistance, which is not fair. I was glad that I could help. It is interesting to realize how the majority of the buildings that I am used to in Arizona are more sensitive because they were built when the ADA existed, trying to fix old buildings is probably a lot like pulling teeth.

At a welcome lull in the flow of customers, I was approached by a woman who said she found me. What? It took me a second to realize it was my godmother's friend Teresa! We had talked a few times since I moved here, but she was really busy looking for a new house, nesting with her new husband, and trying to get her mother into a nursing home. She works for The University of Chicago, and she took some time out to come visit me. We decided to do lunch on Friday to really catch up. The rest of the work day flew by and even though I raced home, I still missed the first half of Dancing with the Stars. Oh well, after the show went off, I spent an hour on my hair and my eyebrows for tomorrow's interview. I still need to figure out how I am going go from bookstore comfy to interview chic in 15 minutes, but where there is a will there is a way.

Day 69 - Just let your SOUL glow!

I woke up this morning to a messy house and hungry pets, the lovely lady that I live with decided to go out last night and not come home until 11:30 this morning. I'm not judging, I'm just saying, your little animals can't feed and walk themselves. I cleaned up and I fed the animals, but I stopped short of walking the dog. When Lauren did get home, she got ready really fast and we went to pick up Natay for the circus.

Can I just say that the UniverSoul Circus is one of the best hybrid performances that I have ever seen. It is part concert, a little bit of comedy, part circus and a whole lot of house party. As we are walking up, I hear DMX's "ya'll gon make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here"...then the music flips to a Drake track. I get in the tent and it looks like a circus, three men are walking and riding bikes across the tightrope. All the seats are good seats, and the ringmaster was hilarious. Throughout the show, we sang if you're happy and you know it, we did the hokey pokey and we sang television theme songs from Spongebob Squarepants to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

The acts included some Asian women who did all kinds of tricks on bikes, there were folks from Trinidad and Tobago who danced on stilts and did extreme limbo. One man from France twisted his body up and down some rope to some Luther Vandross record. He was built like a male gymnast who specializes on the rings. There were Russian guys who flipped off of some swings (really high), it was actually pretty exciting. There were young men from South America who rode motorcycles in a cage, there were four bikers in this cage going 50 mph, I don't know how they managed to not run into each other. The second half of the show included the tigers and elephants. I have mixed feelings about animals in captivity. On one hand, the animals can't be happy doing tricks for people but on the other, how does a person get an animal to jump through a flaming hoop consistently, that is kind of amazing.

Oh, and in the middle of the circus, the ringmaster makes all the kids stand up and take the ringmaster pledge. They have to raise their right hand and swear to say no to drugs, learn, pray, love their families, and remember that they are all winners, then the beat drops to DJ Khaled's "All I do is Win", so much fun. The crowd participation was on another level. Men and women were invited to the stage to form a soul train line, and later two couples were chosen to do a dance off with each other. Natay kept looking around and asking to see my iPhone and I was trying to tell her to focus and get excited, how often does the circus come to town? Afterwards she said that her favorite part was the tigers.

We took Natay back home after the circus, but we sat in the car with her for about 30 minutes. She's so quiet in the beginning but once she got comfortable, she wanted to braid my hair and talk about her favorite music artists. She eventually spent her energy and consented to go inside and we will go out again next weekend. From there Lauren and I went to Target, I got away with just spending 10 dollars, Lauren went in another directions, it started with dog treats and ballooned into full blown grocery shopping. When we got home, I called my Uncle Jimmy. He had been on my mind and I found out that he had no idea that I had moved to Chicago. We spent about 45 minutes catching up and he said that he was really happy for me, it was good to hear.

Then I settled in to letter writing, scrap booking and watching CBS. 60 minutes and The Amazing Race were on point tonight. I'm feeling very comfortable and relaxed from the weekend's activities. Big things are going to be happening this week, and I'm ready to put my best foot forward. 

Day 68 - A Date?

Today was very long. I worked from 9:00 to 5:00, essentially. The weather was rainy and cold when I had to walk to work in the morning, by the time I had to walk home, the sun was out, I had to carry my big coat and stow away my umbrella. I wasn't as productive today because Patsy snapped at me, I don't like that mess. I won't even bring up the petty circumstance, but suffice to say that I hate being called out on a normally acceptable action when I have been going above and beyond anything that anyone else in my department has done, since my first day. When I am a manager, I will remember the track record before I try to ruin some one's day. Anyway, 5:00 came and I don't have to go back until Monday.

I came home with every intention of watching season four of Mad Men and eating a homemade pita pizza. 30 minutes into my relaxing evening, Rob calls and asks if I am going to the Hyde Park Jazz Festival. I was thinking about going but I didn't want to go by myself and I assumed that it would be over by the time that I got off work. He was already up there, so I told him that I would join him in an hour or so. We met at the Rockefeller Chapel, which is an enormous Gothic cathedral that lines the Midway Plaisance. We watched a big band perform for a few minutes. Their rendition of "Round Midnight" by Thelonius Monk was very soothing. Next we crossed the street to an outdoor venue that was adjacent to all kind of vendors. It was just like the Hyde Park Street Fair with the homemade clothes and jewelery for sale, as well as a wide assortment of delicious treats. Unfortunately, I didn't have any cash, and I didn't feel comfortable taking money from an unemployed person who said he wasn't hungry. We both decided the music was too loud so we strolled over to the Booth School of Business where he showed me this sculpture that he likes. It looks like a tree with boulders placed on the branches. The "tree" is made of metal and we couldn't tell if the boulders were real or not. Then we went to the Robie House, a Frank Lloyd Wright building, and I told him all about Taliesen West in Scottsdale.

Then we walked back toward the university quadrangle, where there is a flower garden and posters for his beloved Oriental Museum. He explained this statue of a half man, half bull that was found outside the tomb of some Assyrian king, he actually consulted his notebook to tell me when the tomb was built...what could I say? We looked at the gargoyles that line the buildings of the quadrangle and detoured through the pond, where he remembered that someone from his grammar school fell in when they were younger. We stumbled upon another jazz concert venue, Mendel Hall where we witnessed an amazing performance from our seats in the balcony. DK Dyson was the lead vocalist, and she was amazing. Her voice was so clear and crisp, her hair was loc'ed and tied up in an elaborate bun. Her black tunic and skirt were accentuated with a wide belt at her waist.

When the audience wasn't clapping in time with the music, she said, "don't make me come down there", she came down there anyway and sang around and through them. I was enjoying it so much, it made me sad to think how much my mom would have liked it too. My whole notion of stretching the most out of life comes from the exciting stories she would tell and pictures she would show me of her on beaches in Madrid and nightclubs in Amsterdam. The whole time that I was in Europe, she was the only one that I talked to and she kept telling me not worry about the money, see and do EVERYTHING, I would never regret it, she was right. I really wish that she was here to share these experiences with me today, even if it was only over the phone. I felt myself getting emotional, but I excused myself and when I came back, Rob didn't seem to notice.

By the time the performance ended, the temperature had dropped and I was ready to go home, Rob said that he would walk me but he would also like to have his bike. We thought we would walk to his bike, he would walk me home, then he could ride himself home. The distance was greater that he had anticipated, and he worries that walking will make him skinnier (who says that?). Luckily by the time that we got to his bike, the festival shuttle was coming by. So, I hugged Rob good-bye and saved myself a good 20 minutes of walking, and made it home by 10:00. Overall my time with him was nice. He gave me a few compliments, offered to pay for something and asked me how I was liking everything. He seemed to appreciate the music on an intellectual level but he wasn't "feeling" it, so kudos to him for not complaining or interrupting my experience. Walking around that immaculate campus at night with the moon shining and jazz music playing in the background, was so cliche, it was like a scene from one of my favorite romantic comedies but I didn't reduce myself to that. I didn't indulge myself with any long stares, mildly suggestive closeness, or awkward romantic status questions. I still have alot of reservations about him, but I was happy to take part in another one of my new neighborhood's traditions.

Day 67 - Chocalate Chip Theater

Friday finally came. I spent the morning applying to jobs and responding to emails. It feels like opportunities are piling up all around me. I received a callback from data company who is paying pretty good money for professionals to work on a special project in Oak Park. She said that she would forward my resume to her supervisors and call me sometime next week. I still have Johnson Publishing Company, the BMRC and Coleman's position in the air. I wonder if this is how it could work for everybody who ever felt like he or she was in a rut. I was the same person with the practically the same application materials when I was applying for jobs in Arizona, and I never heard anything. I move and suddenly things land in my lap, I don't understand it but I'm not going to knock it.

I wanted to go to the post office and to the circus box office before my volunteer event at DuSable tonight. I'm sending my broken computer to my dad in my new computer's box. However, the postmistress that I met today says that I need to wrap the box in brown paper, now I have to go get the paper and packing tape, so much for getting it done today. Lauren invited me to the UniverSoul circus with her and her "little sister", Natay. They already had their tickets, so I found one behind them for the Sunday afternoon show. By the time I got back, I had to get ready to usher at the Chocolate Chip Theater performance at DuSable. Once again I get there and no one knows where I'm supposed to be. At least Arlene was there, she appreciated my letter and she set me up at the membership table outside of the theater. The Chocolate Chip Theater Company had been in business for 29 years, but it was folding as a result of the economy, this was their farewell performance. The performance was actually a sequence of skits, songs and monologues from the troupe's most memorable performances.

I turned out to not be an usher, I just promoted membership to the audience members as they bought their tickets in the lobby. It could have been really boring but the three security guards, Bobby, Keetha, and Rae kept me entertained. I can't imagine any of them taking down a perp, but they opened the door and talked on their walkie talkies as well as any cop that I have seen. I also talked to some of the board members about their plans for the future. The time flew by and I snuck into the auditorium to see about 20 minutes of the show before intermission. I left around 8:30, and Rachna called. We decided to go eat at Leona's. As I was walking over there, I saw Lauren and Simba going out for their evening stroll...I was going to ignore her but it felt too wrong. I explained the situation, and she was like don't worry about it, I'm walking that way and I'll turn just before we get to the shopping center. That was very gracious of her. Rachna informed me that she is going to stop trying to fight her situation, and she made plans to go home to India next week and just re-set. I will be sad to see her go, she has been quite the character. We should be getting to together at least one more time, I owe her money and she wants to say good-bye to Lauren.

I did have to walk home in the rain, but my plastic bag and scarf saved my hair. I had a missed call from Rob and when I called him back we talked for a little bit. I found myself telling him all about Rachna and Lauren, he seemed concerned that I might have some unresolved issues with Lauren and he would talk to her if I wanted him too. I was like what?, no! I told him that I didn't want him to say anything to Lauren, he said that he just wanted to make sure that she was being nice to me. I told him that it wasn't that serious, the whole thing boils down to incompatible personalities between Rachna and Lauren. The entire situation is ridiculous, it wasn't as clear to me until I heard myself explain it to someone who didn't have a stake in it. I'm going to learn to get off the phone at night, this is not junior year in college, I will be miserably tired if I don't get enough sleep these days.

Day 66 - Fashionista

Today, I was determined to go shopping. Ladies and gentlemen, that is exactly what I did. I took the bus to the Red Line and rode it north to the Chicago stop. I walked a couple of blocks to Michigan Avenue where the Water Tower mall is located. However, I discovered more interesting stores outside of the actual mall. I started with TopShop. I had been to this store before while I was in London, there is one in the Piccadilly Circus. The Chicago location is only the second one in America, there is also one in NYC. I remember that I bought a couple of tops and some jewelery from here when I was on a much stricter budget, so I was surprised to find myself priced out of the store today. The stuff is super cute, lots of off the shoulder tops, multi-colored jeans, stretchy dresses and mini-skirts.  You get the feeling that if you mix and match it right then no one can deny your admission to the cool kids club. I saw these brown patterned Oxford shoes that I believe will be in my future if I have to eat ramen noodles for the rest of the autumn. I am assuming that since they are a flagship store that just opened a couple of weeks ago, they haven't developed a clearance section yet. I will check in a few months to see if they have made that happen, maybe my shoes will be there.

The next stop was H&M. They did not disappoint in the sale department, I just had to make the tough choices to only pick three items, when there were eight that I adored. I wound up with a big cardigan, a striped shirt and a stretchy skirt, plus some tights and rings (accessories weren't included in the debate). Next up was Filene's Basement, where I found a soft green cashmere sweater. The guys at Coleman's party praised cashmere to no end. They said, it is ideal because it will keep you warm as a layer underneath your jacket, but it breathes, so that you can cool down when you get inside. This store also had alot of boots that struck my fancy, but I resisted the urge to break the bank just yet. At both H&M and Filene's I spent alot of time in the dressing room. I would pick things up that clearly weren't my size, and justify how I could make it work. This is not a good idea. There is a reason that clothes come in different sizes and contrary to my mindset earlier today, it is very rare that "this brand runs big". Luckily, I was smart enough to know that if I had problems getting my arm or leg through a hole, this probably wasn't going to work out. The only consequence from my temporary illusions about my size were extra putbacks for the fitting room worker and some terrible memories of myself in very unflattering pieces of clothing.

After all of that retail fun, I stopped at Chick-fil-a for a late lunch. Then I caught the Red Line back to Hyde Park. The train was full of school age kids. I tried not to stare but I was listening to every word of the pointless conversations that these 5 girls were having. I don't know why children act like they don't want to go to school. Where else would they meet boys to flirt with and girls to hate on? I suppose a wise guy would answer, the train. One of the bolder girls was staring at this other young man and she asked him where he went to school and if he had a brother. He gave short replies, but she kept engaging him, asking him to sit closer and telling him to stop lying about his brother. He had to get off the train before she did, and her girlfriends were making fun of her until she threatened them with violence, in jest, I think. All of that walking, shopping and people watching made me sleepy but I knew that I needed to go to the grocery store too. I walked home, got my car went to Michael's for some food. In the parking lot, I realized that my rear passenger tire was looking flat, so I went to the gas station for some air. I haven't been to the gas station for air, since I went with my dad in the 90's. I almost asked for help, but I put on my big girl panties and did it myself, it was easy.

I was home by 5:00, took my nap and made a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup for dinner. Another glorious night of television. Grey's Anatomy is back. I had a super funny chat with my sister and I will be going to bed at any moment now. By the way, Rebecca called to set up an in person interview for next week. Imagine that? I was telling my sister that I will keep giving it my best effort and see where all the cards land. In the back of my mind, I am hoping that the BMRC archives and the Johnson Publishing Company positions come through too. I'd hate to think that I have been harping on archives for the past 18 months, just to take a job as a coordinator...however it is much easier to focus on your goals when you have stable employment and don't have to monitor every cent. I can "what if" myself to death, and I have a feeling that I will have a difficult choice soon, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Day 65 - Fixin' to vs. Finda'

Today at work, I was flexing my multi-dimensional skill set. I really ought to be employee of the month. I spent the majority of the day in the textbook department, learning the computer applications and helping customers. I processed web orders and was left a lone for what seemed liked the longest 30 minutes of my life when I was hit with a random barrage of customer questions. Hopefully it will get better in the days to come. One thing that the textbook department has over tradebooks is the limitless supply of random conversation. Today did not disappoint. Patsy is from Tennessee and she says I'm fixin to go to the store. She also has fixins with her big Thanksgiving dinner. Jimmy is from Chicago and he says I'm finda go to the store. They ask me which one have I heard more often. I said finda sounds a little more natural to me, but I try not to say either, because it may be difficult for the average person to understand. This led to my learning that a person from Michigan may call a shopping cart, a buggy and a water fountain a bubbler. Language variation is a funny thing.

The evening was uneventful. I have been riding my bike for the last few days, I think that my lock issues were due to the colder temperatures. Now that it has been a little warmer, the lock works fine. The store is open later on account of rush, so I had to bike home in the dark. I really wanted some pancit from Noodles Inc, but the night and my budget said go home and make ramen noodles instead. Not quite the same, but I'm not hungry anymore. I'm happy that Modern Family is back, and I watched Revenge, the newest Wednesday night drama on ABC. I also attempted to do a little background research on the subjects that Bea suggested from the DuSable Museum. I found out that my friend Lauren has purchased her tickets and will be visiting on October 14, that should be a good time. Exploring will be a lot more fun when one of my besties can join me. I'm off for the next couple of days, let the fun/retail therapy begin!

Day 64 - Bored Dialing

I was not feeling very well today, I came home during my lunch break, I took an hour instead of the normal 30 minutes allowed. Funny how no one noticed, if this bookstore was in a horse race, it would be the horse that never left the gate. That is how oblivious the management can be at times. My interview at Johnson Publishing Company was pushed back to next Thursday. I did get an email from the BMRC archivist about the paid position which includes working with the DuSable museum. It looks like the position requires the candidate to be in school, hopefully they will make an exception for me, especially if I promise to enroll in a certificate program in January. I haven't heard back from Coleman and Rebecca, and that is okay.

I can't tell if people are blowing smoke up my caboose or not, but Arlene and Evelyn think that I am a great writer. So great, that I should write more articles for the museum and help Arlene draft a letter to encourage Black sororities and fraternities to collaborate with the museum. I am supposed to supply a draft of the letter by tomorrow afternoon. I always read what I submitted and I can see all kinds of areas for improvement. I am grateful for the opportunity to add more samples to my curriculum vitae but I am not really excited about being a ghostwriter without any compensation. Why would I shelve books for minimum wage when people who have problems communicating their ideas in writing, are make twice as much as I have ever earned? I guess that is why I am hustling, so that it won't be like this for me forever.

After I watched the results show of Dancing with the Stars and couldn't tell anyone about it because of my time zone, I was bored. I also watched the New Girl, the new sitcom with Zooey Dashenal, it was so cute. I love it when she sings. She plays the same quirky character in Yes Man, one of my favorite films. I'm scrolling through my phone, I called my Aunt Vern, and she didn't answer. I called Christian and he was preoccupied with his own issues, and couldn't talk for long. Who else? How about the new nerd, Rob, from Lauren's Labor Day party?

Of course he answers. I learned alot about this guy in our 2.5 hours of conversation. As I am writing this, the themes that echo are his fascination with the Bible and the corresponding Middle Eastern history and his slightly veiled pessimism. He is so strange, he needs friends in the worst way. Someone to let him know that he doesn't have to be smooth and charismatic for people to want to be around him. For every discouraging notion that he had, I tried to give him something positive to focus on instead. He said that he appreciated my perspective, was glad it worked for me but he was not buying it. He's like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. He doesn't understand why people don't just accept the misery that is life, and he is not going to pretend to be happy for anyone's sake.

He's mad that life hasn't turned out the way it was supposed to, he's frustrated with hypocrites at his church and he tries to rationalize why there is evil in the world. There were times when I wanted to hang up the phone because he fixated on the same point even after I acknowledged that I understood but could never agree. It was like two people taking turns hitting each other with hammers. I told him he was like Silas form the DaVinci Code, an ascetic who berates himself to no end. He doesn't allow himself any leisure, no movies, no music...just documentaries and books. That is ridiculous. I told him that I would help him figure out a way to move to a third world country, find a simple way to give meaning to his life and to those of others, talk about it on TED Talks, garner funding, and use his MBA to create a business that will save the world and put a little change in his pocket. He doesn't know it, but I just solved all of his problems.

Day 63 - Pursuit of a Mirror Ball

Season 13 of Dancing with the Stars has returned and brought so much joy to my heart! This season's contestants are very diverse, and I am looking forward to seeing what they are going to bring. I used to talk to my friends and the volunteers at Civic Center Library about every episode, luckily I have stayed in touch and will be communicating via email my impressions of the upcoming episodes. Lauren has never watched the show, which would explain why she chose to run her mouth through two of the numbers. I kept glancing over her shoulder at the screen, but she wasn't picking up what I was putting down. Ah, that is what Tuesday's show is for.

I think that Lauren and I had a breakthrough last night. She was telling me all about her friendships and her habit of befriending people that need "help" and the way that people have taken advantage of her in the past. So many of her stories involve someone trying to trick her, sabotage her or not giving her as much as she thinks she deserves based on what she has given to them. At the same time, she talks about how she would never bring a man around her single friends and she is wondering how long it will take Ola to get over her, since she broke his heart. I'm confused because how can you have such a high opinion of yourself and allow yourself to be abused at the same time? I can't call it. Today, she is fixated on finding another job because her supervisor is driving her crazy and she might interview at Johnson Publishing Company, the same place I am interviewing at on Thursday. She thinks it would be fun if we worked together and lived together....no it would not. If that happened, I would move out for sure. I'm glad that she likes me. However, it is unfortunate that she doesn't know me very well. I'm the glacier, like Kevin James in Hitch, and that is alright.

Day 62 - Talking out the side of my head

Throughout the course of the day, I had fabulous conversations with all of my favorite people. Thank goodness for free weekend minutes!

I have to add to this entry, because I was stuck in conversation with Lauren last night until 12:30, our trio is officially no more. Here is the scoop:

Rachna has decided to take evening strolls around Hyde Park to clear her mind and figure out what her next move will be. She invited me to join her last night, and I (probably not using the best judgment) invited Lauren and Simba. It seemed harmless at the time. Rachna is talking about how she is probably going to have to go back to India and she is not sure of what to do with her stuff. Apparently, she bought all kinds of household supplies from Wal-Mart and Target, that are unopened and she wants to return them and get her money back. Lauren suggested that she should get storage for all of her things, since she might want to come back to Chicago. Rachna says that storage makes no sense because she doesn't know when or if she will be back.

Here is where my dramatic irony comes in, because I know that Lauren doesn't want to drive Rachna to any store to return anything, but Lauren is trying to get Rachna to think that renting a truck and a storage unit is the best option. Rachna doesn't know why, but she senses Lauren's persistence and is not happy about it. We have been walking for about 20 minutes, and when we get to a corner, Rachna says I'll walk you guys home, and go back by myself, and we are like, no, there are two of us, we will make sure you get home, and we can walk back. Rachna keeps beating around the bush, saying that she wants to walk by herself, then she blurts out, I have something that I need to talk to Chaitra about in private. I was looking at her, like "what?" and Lauren is like "oh I see, BYE!"

I felt like a first grader, with all of these superficial friend alliances. I walked with Rachna, and she told me that Lauren's negativity was too much for her, she has enough stress in her life without that. Our conversation was not of much consequence, but of course I had to go home eventually and deal with Lauren. Lauren said that she doesn't care and I told her Rachna just wanted to talk about this guy she was seeing. I guess when they were at dinner last week, Lauren was not as supportive of that pursuit as she would have liked. Lauren seems glad to be off the Rachna hook, so the issue wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then Lauren proceeded to talk about her latest revelations about dating and how its depressing that she doesn't have love or babies in her life, when it feels like everyone around her does, a lot of woe is me....poor thing.

Side note, even with my umbrella evening dew/mist/rain devastated my hair do, :( Lauren used her super hot flat iron to try to flattened it out. It is no use, it has puffed up. I am really considering locs, if I get a better job that will allow me to go to the salon to maintain them, I'm going to do it!!

Sometimes I wonder if I am two faced, clearly I say things to Rachna about Lauren, that I would not want Lauren to know, and vice versa. I feel like they are two very self-involved people and I don't mind being a sounding board, and its my natural inclination to empathize, so it feels pretty harmless. I have plenty of time and opportunities with my real friends and family to re-charge my batteries, preventing myself from wallowing in a puddle of insecurities and disappointments.

Day 61 - Coleman's Birthday Party!

I really think that I do everything for the people I love in this world. Tonight, when I went to Andersonville for Coleman's party, I thought that Lauren Smith would love to shop on Clark street, Joseph and Christian would love to date the men that were at the party, Travis would have joined to conversation about the value of vinyl, and Loren and Hope would have busted out their salsa moves when Suavmente came on. In that movie, "Playing with Hearts", Sean Connery has a line where he says something like when you fall in love with someone, you see yourself the way that they see you, so you actually fall in love with yourself. My friends and family do represent me and the fact that I thought of them while out with these strangers definitely made me feel a lot more comfortable, and made me miss them alot.

I talked to so many people tonight, I am actually sipping water now because my throat is sore. Jordan is Coleman's neighbor and he is a professor in the art department at DePaul. Chris is a graphic designer and he is from the "quad cities" on the Iowa-Illinois border. Scott works with Coleman and told me that I should stop complaining about my roommate because he once lived in a converted pantry with a schizophrenic for a roommate. Anthony is from Oregon and he has shoes that are older than me. Kirk is a lawyer, he lives downtown and he walked with me to the train station after the party. I met alot of women too, I just can't remember their names. Topics of conversation ranged from the scary ways that facebook is removing all privacy, the end of cohesive albums (artists just produce singles these days), things to do in Chicago, favorite vacation destinations, Chicago neighborhoods, and what I could expect in the winter. Although I smiled and listened to everyone's advice, I am a little rattled. Never before had anyone told me that I need to track storms on TV and go to the grocery store in advance, because I could be snowed in for three days! Tomorrow, I want to go shopping for some of this uber-necessary winter gear.

I felt very rebellious and a little scared when I decided to drive my car to the train stop and take the train all the way to Andersonville at 8:00 PM. Lauren always says that she doesn't ride on that train in this neighborhood, but she never rides the train at all. This was the most convenient way to get there, why shouldn't I do it? In my mind I could see the news, "local woman's body found dead, 150 yards from a Red Line train stop" Lauren in the interview, "I hate to see this happen, but I told her to keep her Arizona ass off of that train...there is a room available at..." I made it without any problems, I swear if you dress modestly, keep your head down, walk fast and mind your own business, nobody has anything to say to you. Based on the documentary I saw, most violent crimes involve people with a history of conflict between each other, these people don't know me from a can of spray paint.

As I was riding the train, I was wondering why I don't worry about the additional danger that comes with me walking around as a young woman. It is because I wasn't raised with that mind set. I played sports, I used to wear big t-shirts all the time, and if I hit my brother he socked me right back, there were no allowances because I am a female. I never think about crying to police officers or blaming my attitude on my period, these things just don't occur to me. So when I was saying goodbye to Coleman, and a lady overheard how I was getting home and said, a pretty girl like you shouldn't be riding the train at night, Coleman you better give that girl some cab fare...I was like no, don't worry about it, I'll be fine...they eventually let it go, but it definitely surprised me. Its not that I can't turn up the feminine fire when I want to, I just forget that in this world, it is impossible to turn off. I can see why heterosexual might women wear boxers, baggy jeans, sneakers and baseball hats, they are probably less likely to be victims when their femininity is hidden.

Overall, the night was great. I figured out how to get somewhere new and I met some interesting folks. Coleman is definitely a good contact to have.

Day 60 - Setting side of the Sun

I went to work, bright and early.

After work, I had an appointment with Cleopatra's Salon, in my neighborhood. When I made the appointment, a Middle Eastern man touched my hair, and said "eh, we can work with that". All day I was dreading the appointment, think that I was going to ask the stylist alot of questions before I would let him or her touch my hair today. However, when I got there, they took me straight to the shampoo bowl, and I wound up just watching ladies with all kinds of hair textures getting their "do's done". I put my faith in these middle eastern folks and their unfamiliar language and rolled the dice.

Overall, I would give the process a 76% and the final look, 87%. First a young woman washed my hair, then another young woman blow dried my hair, then a man flat ironed and curled it. The blow drying was the worst. My hair was wet, super curly, and a little knotted from my last round of twists. There were at least three knots that she seemed to be clawing it with the comb, my head is still throbbing from the trauma. At the end, my hair was super smooth and bouncy, I liked it alot. Now, I can't get it wet or sweat too much, plus I have to wrap it up at night. Beauty knows no bounds.

The Internet is working now. Lauren and I attempted to watch Mad Men on the Roku. I say attempted because she talked all through it! Grrrrr. I will be checking that out at another time. I talked to my Dad tonight, he is hilarious. Apparently, he is going to Bisbee for a Blues Festival this weekend. I told him how it is getting colder, and that I really want to go to a Bears game at Soldier Field when it is snowing. He said that I was out of my mind. I told him that thousands of people go every year and no one has ever died. He replied, you don't know if they have or not, and when your feet freeze, you are going to feel like you died. Silly papa. I told him that he was only saying that because he is on the setting side of the sun, aka old. He said that he would remember that and leave me 23 dollars in his will. Shucks, :(

Day 59 - My coat stops at 3rd gear

I had my interview with Coleman and Rebecca this morning. I thought that it went pretty well. The most disconcerting part of an interview is having to talk so much about yourself, often without an interruption. I hate that, I always feel like I am rambling. The interviewers were kind and my experiences seem to match what they are looking for. One thing that gave me pause was when they asked about working evenings and weekends, as well as doing additional research. Rebecca gave the example, a professor might want you set up a session on clinical trials, I would need to find out what that might look like. They both assured me that they didn't have science backgrounds and they get along just fine. We talked for about 45 minutes and they said that they would let me know the next steps within a week or so. I sent them both e-cards expressing my thanks. The funny thing is shortly after the interview , I received an email inviting me to interview for a part time archives position. I'm standing here with a few options and that is a great feeling.

This morning the sun was out but it was 46 degrees! I busted out the woolen peacoat for my walk to the library and I was good. That was the warmest piece of clothing that I have, so if...when it gets colder, I will be in trouble. I need to stop procrastinating and start shopping for that real winter coat!

Day 58 - One of those Voices

Only a broken Internet could have prevented last night's post..I believe that those cable technicians were so tired of hearing Lauren complaining, that they snipped our Internet...they are only going to make it worse, :(

Work flew by today, probably because I was anticipating tomorrow's interview. Over text, Coleman invited me to his birthday party on Saturday, and wanted me to invite one of my co-workers, his friend Pat. I told him that I would if I saw her. I saw her twice and wasn't going to say anything, but I finally did just before she was about to leave. I explained the situation and she said that I should give her the address, I didn't have it on me, so I am supposed to follow up with her on Friday. She asked me how I knew Coleman, I told her and she said that she has known him for two years, since they used to ride the bus together. She kept gushing about sweet he is and I agreed by telling her about this job opportunity. She said that if I was looking for a job, Allstate was hiring, her daughter works at the one in Joliet. She said that I would be good at taking insurance policies over the phone, I have one of those voices....what does that mean?

This is the third time this month that a Black person has mentioned the sound of my voice in some kind of way. First, Zach was making fun of me, but I assumed it was friendly banter. When I asked the security guard at the library if she needed to look inside my bag, she responded, no I don't need to look in your bag, in this high pitched nasal-ly voice. I said, are you making fun of me? She just laughed and asked what school I went to. Now this lady saying that I have an insurance representative voice....I'll come back to this.

Dave's all staff meeting was this evening, after the store closed. I don't know if I am too immersed in Black History right now but it looked like some slaves gathering around their overseers. Some staff members were off today but they came, two of the women are pregnant, and age ranges from late teens to middle aged Black people. Erin, Trent, Patsy, Kevin and Dave went over the updates in their departments. I tried to put myself in their positions, giving all of this information that is handed down from the corporate offices and dispensing it to these apathetic and underpaid workers. They were kind enough to give us pizza, soda, cookies and some brand new t-shirts to wear during rush. I do take pride in my work, regardless of what it is, but retail is definitely for the birds. On my walk home, I ran into Jimmy from the textbook department. All of my interactions with him up until this point were so professional and polite. While we were walking and he was telling me his thoughts on the meetings and some of the bookstore's customers, every other word was a swear and his vernacular completely changed. It was interesting. I was telling him that I was getting old and I didn't have as much tolerance for retail as I might have had before. He asked me how old I was, I said 26 and he said, DAMN (pause) but you look good. What! I told him that was not the appropriate response and we both laughed. It turned out that he is only 19, ahhh to be 19 again, your foot is destined to go into your mouth at that age.

I think that the Zumba and the extra hour at work caught up with me and I fell asleep as soon as I got home. I did wake up around 10:30 and talked to Christian about my interview. I stayed up until 2:00 just reminded myself of relevant experiences from my past and taking notes for tomorrow.

Day 57 - Through the Urban Canyon

Today, I charged up the iPhone/GPS and headed up Lakeshore Drive, all the way to Evanston. I had signed up for a Copyright for Archivists workshop at Northwestern University. Downtown Evanston and Northwestern University are so quaint. The university is integrated with a residential neighborhood. Plus, it was welcome week, so all these freshman were walking around with purple shirts that read Class of 2015 on the back. When I was in college there was no mandatory welcome week programs and my orientation at U of A felt more like a herd of buffalo melting under the sun than the small groups of students gathering on benches and on the green lawns around Northwestern. I assume it has something to do with the relationship between cost of attendance and level of personal attention. I walked to the library, and made my way to the forum room. I listened to a professor from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign talk about copyright, deeds of gift and how the digital era has impacted our processes. The professor's name was Bill Maher (I chuckled too) and he was very engaging and gave alot of examples. The content was familiar from my ethics courses at UA, but I did take away a few resources that will help me identify what to do in certain situations. I had to leave 45 minutes early in order to make it downtown for my next "appointment".

I had planned to attend the informational session for the University of Chicago's Artifact Care Certificate, in the Gleacher Center in downtown Chicago. I was so turned around. For those who may not know, there are two levels of streets in downtown area. So, for a handful of streets, you have an upper and a lower version. For a novice like me, its like bumping Mario's head on a brick trying to find a mushroom, to find the street that will let you access the lower, and vice versa. Plus, the lower versions are dark and scary, additionally Mapquest cannot pick up a signal when you are underground. I am driving around in circles, trying not to hit shoppers and tourists that clog the crosswalks. I am navigating one way streets and itty bitty street signs, I can't even get an idea of where this place is. I am going to be late, so I think that I should just go home, it's just not worth it. Then, through the urban canyon, I see University of Chicago Gleacher Center on a building just over yonder! I make as much of a beeline as possible to the building, and the space is so calm and spread out, I can't believe that I didn't see it earlier. There is a parking garage nearby, I park and hustle over to my meeting, just under 15 minutes late. There are only 2 of us there to listen to this woman talk, so it went by pretty quick. I don't know if this would be a substitute for Dominican University, but if I got that job at U of C, it would be a smoking deal. I want to ask the archivist at DuSable and see what she thinks of the credential.

Since I was already downtown and stressed out from driving, I decided to wander for a little bit. Lo and behold, there is a movie theatre showing the new Kevin Hart film, Laugh at my Pain, in 20 minutes! I got my ticket and a snack and prepared for a laugh riot. The film met my expectation, if you like The Kings of Comedy, Chris Rock or Eddie Murphy comedy specials, you will not be disappointed. After the movie I saw a missed call from Lauren, her and Rachna were going to have dinner. I assumed that they would have ate by the time I was finished, and my phone was dying so I declined the invitation. I made it home and was about to get into my solitary groove when Lauren comes back and tells me all about the dinner, and how she is bored. She mentions Zumba on the Wii and I said that I would do it with her. There we are, two thick girls doing Latin dances and trying not to stomp on the floor at 10:30 at night. I haven't done Zumba since last year so some of it came back to me, but it definitely wore me out, I hope that I am not sore tomorrow.

Day 56 - Cable Guy

My lazy habits backfired on me today. I had the day off and didn't have any definitive plans, so when Lauren said that the AT&T people would be here, sometime before noon, I was on the hook. In her defense, she asked and I said ok, so I put myself on the hook. I thought he would be working outside and just come inside to flip a switch...nothing is that simple these days. A little background, Lauren is trying to upgrade from DSL to fiber optics so that her Internet streaming videos (Netflix, Amazon, etc.) will run without interruption. Apparently, they can't just upgrade the the Internet, without disconnecting the telephone, and her security system is set up through her phone, so they were at an impasse. The cable guy was so smug and presumptuous. He is explaining it to me and I am telling him that he needs to be talking to Lauren because she is the homeowner, and this is her problem to figure out. He was all, "I know she's gonna cuss me out", and I was like maybe but you can only tell the truth. He talked so much, but all he had to say was he couldn't install it today, and he would follow up with Lauren. It took him 2 hours of walking in and out of the place to come to this conclusion.

In between the cable drama, I managed to organize the refrigerator and freezer. I vacuumed the rugs. I unloaded the dishwasher. I also read 125 pages of a Chicago history book. This book is so fascinating, it is like Forest Gump, because the man is chronicling the major events of 20th century through the lives of the author and his father. I spent the evening making dinner and listening to Lauren complain about the incompetent cable company. I had pork chops, a baked potato and a green salad, it was good. Then I watched Hell's Kitchen and Basketball Wives (LA), The Office, Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon. It sounds like a lot of television, but I wrote emails, painted my fingernails, plucked my eyebrows and labeled my music and pictures on the computer. It was definitely better than going to work.

The high and low on the job front are as follows. I followed up with the coordinator of the photo archiving project for Jet and Ebony magazine. I thought that I was in line for an interview, and I called to set one up for Thursday. The lady was like "no, there is no need for that. We still have to look at all of the applicants." I said oh, well my work schedule fluctuates and I would let her know my availabilities as soon as I knew. She told me not to worry about it, she would work around my schedule, and set something up in a few weeks. I'm so anxious! I hope it doesn't make her think I'm a crazy lady.

On the positive tip, I received an email from Coleman and his colleague. I am scheduled for a phone interview this Thursday. This position scares the spit out of me! I re-read my cover letter and it was so simple, I just explained my past experience with under-represented populations in higher education, and my focus on diversity. I keep reading the job description, managing people, giving presentations, writing articles, community outreach, interacting with students and faculty, all for one of the most prestigious medical schools in the country. I have been under employed for so long, it would be tricky to step up to the plate. I feel like Seabiscuit, someone needs to remind me of what I'm capable of. At the same time it would nice to not be six months away from abject poverty, so I will prepare and see what happens.

The funny thing is that I ran into Coleman while I was at lunch last week, and he introduced me to his colleague who is on the hiring committee too. I always said that once people meet me, the rest is easy street. How does one show sunny disposition, eye contact and a bright smile, when you are one in a million paper applications? I have an edge, it would be a shame to let it go to waste. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, there are a lot of options. In reality, this is a departure from my career goal in archives. My brother was telling me the other day, I have to act like I am the CEO already. He encouraged me to ask potential employers tough questions and force them to recognize my value and what I can contribute. Act as if we are equals in that room, or in this case over the phone, I will be taking that advice this week, I'll be as cool as the other side of the pillow, :)

Day 55 - South Shore

My plans to utilize my "Walking Chicago" book were pushed back due to the fact that I didn't wake up until 10:00. I was supposed to be at the starting point at 10:00. I made it there by 11:00, and it was a perfect day for a walk, just sunshine and blue skies. The South Shore neighborhood is about 3 miles south of my neighborhood, Hyde Park. I started at Rainbow Beach Park, and walked along the shore for a little bit. Then I walked up through the park and watched these old, slightly overweight men without shirts on, play handball, on the only outdoor handball courts in the city. The game looks like racquetball but you slap the rubber ball with a gloved hand instead of a racket. Looked like a good time.

I walked along South Shore drive and took pictures of the old houses and the beach. I made it down several block and stopped at the South Shore Cultural Center. The Chicago Parks District saved this building from demolition, after it fell out of use as a segregated country club. By the time I got inside, I did not have the energy to really look around, I was so hungry. It looked like a banquet in one of the rooms, I almost wanted to ask if I could have some food. Better judgement prevailed, I used my yelp app to find a soul food carry out place down the street. I would like to go back to the South Shore Cultural Center, I saw the golf course and the foyer but it was very grandiose and I would like to explore it more. When I got to "Quench" I ordered fried chicken, green beans, and candied yams, plus the meal came with a peach lemonade and some peach cobbler! The problem was it was carry out, so I had to find a place to eat. I walked for about 15 minutes, I would think I saw green patches that looked like a park, but it would just be someone's front yard. I finally found a park, sat in the grass and enjoyed my lunch.

Technically the tour had another component, but I was ready for a nap. I caught the number 6 bus to my car and headed home. I took a nap, cleaned my room, talked to Christian, watched 60 minutes, caught up on my blog and waited for the season finale of True Blood. Now that I've slept for half of the day, I'm sure that I will be up for most of the night, time for more research!

 

Day 54 - Tapas and Sangria

Only strong drink could be the culprit for me missing my blog entry last night.

I went to the volunteer meeting at DuSable at 10 AM. It was basically a call to sign up for more hours. I had been looking at the schedule for the past week and a half, and not really seen anything that piqued my interest. I have all these "maybe" activities in the works, I'm having hard time committing, thinking that something better will come along. The twist to this meeting is that we had a tour of the museum from one of the docents, my history committee homie, Evelyn. Evelyn's tour was fabulous, she told us all kinds of information about the artifacts that could not be gleaned from just reading the descriptions. For instance, did you know that the Yoruba people in Nigeria have the highest incidence of twin births in the whole world. This may because they believe that twins have magical powers and worship idols of twin babies. The tour ended with the docent staff imploring the volunteers to become docents and gallery guides. I know that I could do it, but one more thing on my plate does not sound like fun. I'll be thinking about it.

Next, I drove to the Carter G. Woodson regional library to check out the Vivian Harsh Collection. I explained to Beverly (the archivist here) how Mrs. Julian from DuSable wanted me to have a stronger background in Chicago history to be competitive for the BMRC paid intern position. Mrs. Julian wanted me to focus on the Black judiciary, architects and broadcasting history. Beverly knows Mrs. Julian and is familiar with the DuSable collection. She said that I should start with some books and I could look over the collection list to see if anything popped out to me. After she took my ID, set me up with a table and those books, she sat down and talked to me for a little bit. Beverly talked about the future of the profession, the help that she could use in her collection and the benefit of an archival certification from Dominican University. I'm glad that I met her, she gave me some things to think about and some leads on resources that will help me familiarize myself with the city. Two notable discoveries are unpublished manuscripts from Langston Hughes and Richard Wright that are available for viewing in the Harsh Collection.

When I got home I called Rachna, she is doing better. We were supposed to get together for dinner, and when I invited Lauren, the situation became complicated and the plan fell through. The issue was Rachna wanted to get something quick in our neighborhood and go home to apply for more jobs. Lauren wanted to get dressed up and drive downtown for dinner. When given the choice between a night out in the bright lights or a night laying up in my sweat pants, it was buh-bye to Rachna.  Lauren and I went to Cafe Iberica in the Gold Coast neighborhood. It took us a minute to find parking but we got lucky when we found a free spot, 2 blocks from the restaurant. We ordered a pitcher of sangria while waiting at the bar for our table. We shared patatas bravas, grilled chorizo, seafood soup, and some seafood paella. It was all pretty good. The more I drink, the better company I become, I think. Lauren and I were laughing and I refused to let her dwell on her sad man problems, I kept directing her toward any other topic of conversation. The place was very diverse and hip, I think that I fit in quite nicely in my asymmetrical top and skinny jeans. After dinner, I was ready to check out some more places in the area but Lauren wanted to drive to another club that she had been to before. When we did the drive-by she decided that she didn't want to party with "those" people, after driving around aimlessly for 30 minutes, we decided to go home. It was 2:00 AM, and I went straight to bed.

There is so much social potential  here, the hunt for the down to earth people who can be comfortable and have a good time wherever we go, is still on. My Arizona friends spoiled me with their wonderful personalities....

Day 53 - Hanna don't play!

Nothing extraordinary happened today. I finished my articles and sent them to Evelyn, we'll see what she thinks at tomorrow's meeting. I made dinner with shrimp, tomatoes and feta cheese. Lauren was busy tinkering with her Roku, which is the little box that lets her stream Netflix, Amazon.com, Pandora, another music app called Mog. She decided to purchase Hanna through her DirectTV, and proceeded to fall asleep 30 minutes into the movie. In the 53 days that I have lived her, I have never seen her sit still and watch an entire movie at home. Why in the world would she pay for all these movie watching services?...it just doesn't make sense. In this case, I did get to watch Hanna, and I liked it. The young girl is genetically generated to be the perfect soldier, it reminded me of Kick Ass, where the "most unlikely to be mean" character is the one to be feared.

Day 52 - Some people deserved to be cursed out

In this instance, I'm talking about David and Caitlyn, from work. I wanted to talk to Caitlyn about how her actions were being perceived by the women downstairs...but she didn't do anything to help her case today. I won't go into details, but she described her interactions with them and said that she actually said that she doesn't care to learn their names or get to know them at all. I may be too close to this situation, because all five of the girls who work downstairs are Black. Customers don't care where you "normally" work when they have a question, what is she going to do when she needs their expertise? This might be her first job since graduating college, so maybe she could use some tough instruction on showing some decency and respect to all of her co-workers.

The general manager, David, has been out on sick leave for the entire month of August, so I am just beginning to see him on a regular basis. I have been wondering all along if we were following the rules, apparently we were not. Since David has been here, I have not heard any music throughout the store, people are always looking busy, I had to go to a "book meeting", and we are suppose to stay until 6:30, regardless of how clean the store is (we close at 6:00). He approached me for checking out at 6:20 today. I told him that I had been told that it was ok if the work was done. He's like, you have to stay and we are going to have a meeting next week to iron out all of the inconsistencies. That's all well and good, I just hope that he is taking a good look at his managers, because they all do a terrible job, managing. Someone should curse him out for chastising a new person, when his "old" workers dispense policy in a crappy fashion.

On a positive note, I believe that I will have an interview with a magazine publishing company, to work on their photograph archives (temporary) project, next week. Rachna found a man to snog, so her life has gone from shit to sugar. She still has a lot on her mind, but she is not as weepy as she was yesterday. There might be an international vacation  in store for me in 2012 with my travel buddy, Jeanetta. My sister is still the best, and Christian, Robert, and Christopher get cool points for staying in touch through email.

Day 51 - Bombs over Bagdad

I can't even believe all of the stuff that went down today.

First, I misread the schedule and arrived at work at 7:45 AM, and I didn't need to be there until noon. I walked around campus for a little bit and then I went home and took nap and was almost late to the right shift. The messed up part is that my bike lock is on the fritz. I wound up walking to work in the morning because I couldn't unlock it from the porch. I was able to unlock it for the second trip to work, but I couldn't lock it back when I got to work. I had to put the bike in the basement workspace where all the books are shipped and received. At work, I find out that one of the managers is recovering from an adolescent drug problem. I knew he was fidgety but I guess his behavior could be remnants of a bigger problem.

When I go to punch out for lunch, I learn that the apparel staff has a problem with my co-worker, Caitlyn. They are biding their time before they have to "check her". I guess that she never speaks to anybody on the first floor. I didn't know what to say to them when I first started, but I was always cordial. I learned a long time that even if you are shy, it will come off as rude and stuck up, if you don't acknowledge someone in a room. I asked them if they could wait until I talked to her before they pounced, what good could come from confronting her? It is a little ridiculous.

On the career front, there is a part time position at the company that publishes Jet and Ebony magazine in downtown Chicago. I will be applying for that one. Also, Mrs. Julian, the archivist from DuSable responded to my email. She outlined everything that I would need to be familiar with to get the position in the museum archive. I have been looking for structure for 50 days, and she gave me some with one simple email. I will be returning to old school study techniques to get the relevant information into my head. Oh, and Coleman Evans returned to the bookstore to give me the job description for that vacancy in his department. The position looks very overwhelming, I don't know what makes him think that I could handle it. I will have to tweak my resume but I will give it a shot.

Lastly, Rachna calls and tells me that she lost her job today. Remember that she quit her job in Oklahoma and took a pay cut to gain experience at this prestigious lab at the University of Chicago. Her supervisors were not impressed with her work, and eliminated her before her 90 day probation period was over. To complicate matters, she is here on a student visa, if she can't find a job in 15 days, she will be deported to Delhi within 10 days of that deadline. High stakes, no? Of course she was freaking out and crying, so I offered to drive her to get Starbucks, some cigarettes and help her set up the Internet in her apartment. Since Murphy's Law is real, the cable outlet in her apartment is defective, Comcast said that they would send someone out to check on it, on September 19th! After Rachna's desperate pleas and explanations, they offered to send someone earlier but there is no guarantee. Her cat allergy is the only reason she can't do work over here, and she doesn't have any access to the university's library anymore.

I am genuinely sorry for Rachna, she was really trying to make a home for herself here, and to have that option abruptly ripped away is a shame. It does go to show that there are no promises of success in the best laid plans. Taking a risk has felt like a mistake at times, as if I have fallen into a dark cave. Now these little specks of light keep revealing themselves, and it seems like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I believe that Rachna is a fighter, and she will draw on every connection that she has and something will come through for her.

On a final note, everyday I come through the front door and smell Cheetos. I am wondering where is this elusive bag of Cheetos. The realization clicked today, that is not a cheesy corn chip fragrance, that is the smell of Lauren's funky shoes. It really slaps you in the face, any ideas on how to tactfully address this problem??

Day 50 - Oh Happy Day!

This entry is called Happy Day for two great reasons. For one, Oh Happy Day was the song that the choir sang that brought down the house in Sister Act 2, starring the one and only Lauryn Hill. I went to the DuSable Museum and witnessed a beautiful portrait of Lauryn Hill, composed of paint and broken vinyl records. I am a huge fan, and if that piece is still available when I get ready to decorate a house, it will be mine! The second reason that this is a happy day is that, I was in an extraordinarily good mood today. It was cool enough for me to bust out my light weight pleather jacket, and calf high boots. There was a chance for me to run into my ridiculous crush, DeMarcus at the museum. I didn't run into him, but that's ok.

As I was getting ready, Megamind was on television and I had been wanting to see that for a long time. I rode my bike to the museum and examine a few exhibits a little more thoroughly. I had planned to drop in on Mrs. Julian, the archivist/librarian, but she was too busy to meet with me. Not to be discouraged, I sent her an email later on in the afternoon. I also RSVP'ed for a workshop and lecture at Northwestern University for next week. I spent time working on iTunes music library and revising my article. Lauren cooked broccoli, brown rice and some sweet and sour chicken, and she shared it with me. Apparently, this is the last great meal before she goes on the South Beach Diet...parts of her personality that I don't understand... I knew that I was in a good mood, because I was dancing, all day! In the mirror, in the kitchen, down the hallway, I was getting it. The cabbage batch, the running man, Jersey turnpike, whatever the feeling brought. Melanie and I would have dance breaks all the time, it was the best. Life is good, what more can I say?

Day 49 - All in the Family

Lauren's plans of a Labor Day barbeque came to fruition. I can say that I stayed out of the way for the majority of the preparations, but I did watch the chicken on the grill when Lauren had to run an errand. She asked everyone to be here by 2:00, but no one arrived until 3:00. The first guests were Lauren's parents, then her aunt and her grandmother showed up. These are some of the most vibrant and friendly people that I have ever met. Lauren's mom, Pat, was borrowing purses from her closet, her dad took his shoes off and made all kinds of clever comments about the tennis match on television. Aunt Joann is Pat's sister, and the grandma's name is Vera (coincidence, I think not). They talked about their relatives, old times and the old school concert they were attending later on tonight. They asked me all kinds of questions about home and my family, and I don't think that it was my rum and coke that made me feel so comfortable.

Later on Rob, Jerry and Kay came over. Rob is Lauren's friend from college, which she thought I would get along with. Jerry and Kay play tennis with Lauren. I didn't get to speak to Kay and Jerry very much because I was locked into conversation with Rob. To put it simply, Rob is a nerd, which in this case means, a man lacking swag. I thought that I was a nerd but he takes it to another level. Not to say that he wasn't entertaining, but let me say that the conversation ranged from how Hitler could have won World War 2, how he spends his time reading textbooks (he graduated last year), how he will go all day without eating because he refuses to eat out. He doesn't have a job, he wants to join the Peace Corp, and he lives at home with his parents. Grandma Vera asked him when he was going to get married and have babies. When he said he wanted to get a job first, she said that would be best. Once he got wound up, it was hard to get him to stop talking, another opportunity for Conversation Exits 101. However, I am trying to explore the city more and he is from here, so he may be quite useful. He has interests in history and nature, so he might be a good companion on city strolls.

I was having some serious doubts about my compatibility with Lauren over the past couple of days, but today was very nice. I felt that she was super sincere and generous with all of her friends and family, I believe that she is a decent person. There are certain aspects of her personality that don't make sense to me but they are tolerable. By the way, autumn is coming proceed with caution...

Day 48 - Lords of the Strings

Last night I set my alarm clock to wake me up for church. After a quick breakfast of strawberries and bananas, I got ready and walked to the United Church of Hyde Park, a Presbyterian denomination. It was a glorious morning, and I probably could have spent it just communing in nature, but I made it to church with 15 minutes to spare. The church is very large and traditional. The aisle took on a downward slope and the pews were set up in the stadium style. Probably because of the holiday weekend, the congregation was small, especially compared to how many people the church could hold. Once again there was no choir, they just sang hymns. Several people read from the Bible and the Reverend gave a sermon about being ready for change like the Hebrews were ready to leave Egypt after Passover. Other readings from the Bible emphasized loving your neighbor, I appreciated the messages. The highlight was two special musical selections from a local band composed of elderly string instrumentalists. The four musicians played the cello, the viola, and there were two violinists. I am not a huge fan of instrumental music, but I was enchanted by these musicians. The music was beautiful and the concentration that it takes to hold the instrument and move the bow at the right angle, all in front of a group of strangers, impressed me to no end.

After church, I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for one glazed donut. I decided to cut through the park on my way home and give my brother a call. We spent a little over an hour discussing our lives and giving each other unfiltered feedback. I told him that we disagree on alot of things but I will never deny that he is a fantastic conversationalist. He doesn't think about what he is going to say while you are talking, he listens and then responds with his point of view, it sounds simple but many people have not mastered this skill. When I left the park, I went home to have lunch and then go to the library with Rachna. Rachna had so much drama losing her ID and not having her laptop. I asked her to just sign me into the library and wished her luck with sorting it all out. Three hours later, she came back when I was on my way out. I like the University of Chicago library, it was full of students on Labor Day weekend! I sat in a quiet study room and completed about 85% of my first article.

Day 47 - Library Card

I rode my bike to the public library today. I had Delilah and all kinds of books and notepads, in order to get to "work". I obtained a library card, and scanned the whole library for an electric outlet. This library is essentially four large rooms. The first is for children, the second houses their general collection, the third holds the audio visual materials and the fourth is a reference room. There were two power strips underneath a table in the third room. Everyone with a laptop was crowded around this table. That's one way to get to know the folks in your community. I staked out a spot, stretched out my power cord and got to work. I had grand plans of drafting emails, researching repositories and tweaking my resume, then I realized that I had committed to writing 3 articles for the DuSable museum by September 10th. The articles are supposed to provide background information on the some of the exhibits in the museum. As I was researching and writing, I realize that this is something that could be published! I will continue to work on them tomorrow and into next week. After a couple of hours to break up the monotony, I cracked open my Archivist Internship book that I bought at the conference. I went through the exercises that the authors proposed and came up with the description of my perfect position. This is valuable information to have as I approach potential mentors and employers.

Of course it starts to rain while I'm in the library. Once again my bicycle seat was soaked, but I had my sweater, wiped it down and went on about my business. My plans to go with Lauren to the jazz festival fell through so I spent the afternoon cleaning and watching college football. After a couple of hours I walked to the grocery store to get the ingredients for the recipe that I pulled 4 days ago. It was a tomato/pork chop stir fry over brown rice. I will be eating it tomorrow and the next day because I wound up meeting Rachna for sushi tonight. When we were talking, I happened to mention, in jest, that she was indecisive/picky about ordering, and she said that I had offended her. I felt a sickness in the pit of my stomach. I said that I didn't mean to make her feel that way. Then she compared it to the "shy" episode from last week, and I couldn't argue. She explained that she is trying to find her niche for vegetarian foods in our neighborhood, and it is important that the servers get it right.

She also said that perhaps because of my age, I may not be accepting of other people, I assume that she meant her choice to be a vegetarian. I wanted to argue and tell her about the diversity of my friends but I did not stoop to that cliche. In the paraphrased words of D.L. Hughley, if you can count how many Black people have been in your house, you might be a racist. I am up for self evaluation and constructive criticism, but this is just not true. I may not agree with people but I do not try to change them or degrade them because of their position. It wasn't worth continuing the argument but it is frustating when people get the wrong idea about who you are. Between me, Rachna and Lauren, our issues with ourselves and one another could fill the Space Needle. I don't remember having such a turbulent early friendship period with people that I have met in the past. Maybe because there is money (rent), new to the city concerns, burgeoning careers, and experienced women involved, it is harder to stay on the fun, superficial side of things. I thought that I had a good grasp on how to interact with Rachna, but I guess I need to keep scanning for landmines, and never lose touch with the ones who know me best.

Day 46 - Promise to be more careful

Today I bought a new computer and I promise to me more careful with it. I can actually remember the moment earlier this week when Stokely (my old computer's name) decided that he had enough of my abuse and bowed out. I was in bed looking at the computer and instead of making room on the messy night stand, I lowered it over the side of the bed and let it drop, about 2 inches from the hardwood floor. The next morning, I couldn't get Windows to run, and the rest is history. I was looking up why or how a hard drive could be ruined, and dropping the machine as well as chronic improper shut downs could be the culprits. I am guilty of both. To add insult to injury, none of my files are backed up, so I have no music, no photos and no zillion versions of cover letters and resumes. It was an expensive mistake, but I am moving forward with light weight and svelte Delilah (my new computer's name).

I had a 45 minute conversation with my Dad this evening, and I was truly comforted. I called him because Lauren was getting on my nerves, and he helped me feel like I wasn't crazy for my point of view. Even though I can't agree with the majority of his decisions lately, he is responsible for so many of the personality pieces of me. The one that came up today was "god bless the child that has got his own". Lauren seemed frustrated that I didn't call her for advice about getting my computer and implied that I spent way too much. My dad was like it doesn't matter how much you spent, you handled your business, he understood why I wouldn't have waited for a hook up to save a dollar, when I already had the conviction and resources to take care of it myself. To see my thought process echoed through the words of another person is always welcomed, gave me validation.

He went on to tell me how he misses his old life with my mom and my siblings. It is hard to describe if you weren't there, but from about 1990 to 2005, 321 E. Rimrock was the place to be. Our house was full of LOVE, we were always laughing and enjoying our time together. We did have some challenges and even when we fought, we always came back together, in that house. I don't think that we are finished seeing the after effects of the loss of everyone's rock (my mom) and our house. What choice do we have? Mope in the rubble or take the love and go build something else.

Day 45 - Lazy Undergraduate Days

When I was in college at The University of Arizona and North Carolina Central University, living on campus, I was poor but very happy. In Tucson, Melanie and I would wake up and go to whichever class we had, meet in the Union for crispy chicken wraps, go back to our rooms and sit on our computers and watch our favorite movies, maybe get a nap in there somewhere. At the computer, we would be listening to music, watching funny videos, and instant messaging people three and four doors down. When it got cooler, we might go work out at the Rec Center, go out to dinner or do some homework, whatever we were in the mood for. We would probably stay up really late laughing with our friends or going out somewhere else on campus. In Durham, swap Melanie for Jeania, the Union for the Caf, and crispy chicken for flat out fried chicken pieces. Maybe instead of going to the gym, we would play Spades and Phase 10 with our friends. Throw in the weekly foreign film screening, open mic night, progressive speaker or college sporting event and life was full. These were some of the best days of my life and I will always love everyone that was there with me.

Today, I felt as if I was transplanted back to those days. I was off from work, I had three text conversations that lasted between one and three hours each. I was on the computer applying for jobs and writing emails. I did laundry. I was checking prices for plane tickets and netbooks. It was very productive, but I didn't budge from the computer desk for more than one cumulative hour all day. Yesterday, I went to dinner with Rachna and had pancit and crab rangoons from Noodle Etc. It was a very relaxed affair, she wants to talk about my goals more than I do. I continue to be motivated by the faith that others have in me and the incredible acts of kindness from relative strangers. I also visited the Oriental Institute on Wednesday, and spoke to the volunteer coordinator. They have a very organized program but there are fees associated and there is no guarantee that I will be able to volunteer in the archives. I will keep exploring other collections. I will be eating the last of my chicken florentine tonight, so tomorrow shall bring a culinary innovation.