I really think that I do everything for the people I love in this world. Tonight, when I went to Andersonville for Coleman's party, I thought that Lauren Smith would love to shop on Clark street, Joseph and Christian would love to date the men that were at the party, Travis would have joined to conversation about the value of vinyl, and Loren and Hope would have busted out their salsa moves when Suavmente came on. In that movie, "Playing with Hearts", Sean Connery has a line where he says something like when you fall in love with someone, you see yourself the way that they see you, so you actually fall in love with yourself. My friends and family do represent me and the fact that I thought of them while out with these strangers definitely made me feel a lot more comfortable, and made me miss them alot.
I talked to so many people tonight, I am actually sipping water now because my throat is sore. Jordan is Coleman's neighbor and he is a professor in the art department at DePaul. Chris is a graphic designer and he is from the "quad cities" on the Iowa-Illinois border. Scott works with Coleman and told me that I should stop complaining about my roommate because he once lived in a converted pantry with a schizophrenic for a roommate. Anthony is from Oregon and he has shoes that are older than me. Kirk is a lawyer, he lives downtown and he walked with me to the train station after the party. I met alot of women too, I just can't remember their names. Topics of conversation ranged from the scary ways that facebook is removing all privacy, the end of cohesive albums (artists just produce singles these days), things to do in Chicago, favorite vacation destinations, Chicago neighborhoods, and what I could expect in the winter. Although I smiled and listened to everyone's advice, I am a little rattled. Never before had anyone told me that I need to track storms on TV and go to the grocery store in advance, because I could be snowed in for three days! Tomorrow, I want to go shopping for some of this uber-necessary winter gear.
I felt very rebellious and a little scared when I decided to drive my car to the train stop and take the train all the way to Andersonville at 8:00 PM. Lauren always says that she doesn't ride on that train in this neighborhood, but she never rides the train at all. This was the most convenient way to get there, why shouldn't I do it? In my mind I could see the news, "local woman's body found dead, 150 yards from a Red Line train stop" Lauren in the interview, "I hate to see this happen, but I told her to keep her Arizona ass off of that train...there is a room available at..." I made it without any problems, I swear if you dress modestly, keep your head down, walk fast and mind your own business, nobody has anything to say to you. Based on the documentary I saw, most violent crimes involve people with a history of conflict between each other, these people don't know me from a can of spray paint.
As I was riding the train, I was wondering why I don't worry about the additional danger that comes with me walking around as a young woman. It is because I wasn't raised with that mind set. I played sports, I used to wear big t-shirts all the time, and if I hit my brother he socked me right back, there were no allowances because I am a female. I never think about crying to police officers or blaming my attitude on my period, these things just don't occur to me. So when I was saying goodbye to Coleman, and a lady overheard how I was getting home and said, a pretty girl like you shouldn't be riding the train at night, Coleman you better give that girl some cab fare...I was like no, don't worry about it, I'll be fine...they eventually let it go, but it definitely surprised me. Its not that I can't turn up the feminine fire when I want to, I just forget that in this world, it is impossible to turn off. I can see why heterosexual might women wear boxers, baggy jeans, sneakers and baseball hats, they are probably less likely to be victims when their femininity is hidden.
Overall, the night was great. I figured out how to get somewhere new and I met some interesting folks. Coleman is definitely a good contact to have.
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