The big day arrived and left without any networking fireworks. I got there and turned into Sally Silence. Even with my Bloody Mary, I was relaxed but not in the mood to talk. When I saw Linda from the Arizona Historical Foundation, I said hello but she dashed off to another presentation and I didn't follow up. I saw two other archivists from Arizona, I didn't remember their names but I could have struck up a conversation with our common network. The icing on the cake was that I even saw my most recent contact, Samip from the South Asian Digital Archive in Chicago, and I didn't say anything! I don't know what was wrong with me, but in retrospect I suppose I was feeling inadequate.
I could say that I moved, but I haven't accomplished very much career wise, yet. I assumed that networking should be an exchange and I don't feel that I have much to offer at this point. The whole day was not fabulous in the way that I thought it would be, but there was a silver lining. The sessions that I went to and the people that spoke have inspired me to keep going in my path and give it a lot more effort. After today's disappointment and the subsequent conversation with my sister I realized that I cannot waste my opportunity to make a living at something that I truly enjoy. Of course it is not going to be easy, if it was easy to be employed doing what you love, there would be a lot more rock bands, bakery shops and travel journalists.
I bought two books from the conference and took copious notes in the session about making that leap from student to professional. There are 162 repositories in the Chicago area, and I have contacted 2. I have so much work to do. Don't worry ya'll this chance was demolished as a result of doubt and insecurity, but I haven't given up just yet. In the words of Curtis Mayfield, I gotta keep on pushin'.
