Throughout the course of the day, I had fabulous conversations with all of my favorite people. Thank goodness for free weekend minutes!
I have to add to this entry, because I was stuck in conversation with Lauren last night until 12:30, our trio is officially no more. Here is the scoop:
Rachna has decided to take evening strolls around Hyde Park to clear her mind and figure out what her next move will be. She invited me to join her last night, and I (probably not using the best judgment) invited Lauren and Simba. It seemed harmless at the time. Rachna is talking about how she is probably going to have to go back to India and she is not sure of what to do with her stuff. Apparently, she bought all kinds of household supplies from Wal-Mart and Target, that are unopened and she wants to return them and get her money back. Lauren suggested that she should get storage for all of her things, since she might want to come back to Chicago. Rachna says that storage makes no sense because she doesn't know when or if she will be back.
Here is where my dramatic irony comes in, because I know that Lauren doesn't want to drive Rachna to any store to return anything, but Lauren is trying to get Rachna to think that renting a truck and a storage unit is the best option. Rachna doesn't know why, but she senses Lauren's persistence and is not happy about it. We have been walking for about 20 minutes, and when we get to a corner, Rachna says I'll walk you guys home, and go back by myself, and we are like, no, there are two of us, we will make sure you get home, and we can walk back. Rachna keeps beating around the bush, saying that she wants to walk by herself, then she blurts out, I have something that I need to talk to Chaitra about in private. I was looking at her, like "what?" and Lauren is like "oh I see, BYE!"
I felt like a first grader, with all of these superficial friend alliances. I walked with Rachna, and she told me that Lauren's negativity was too much for her, she has enough stress in her life without that. Our conversation was not of much consequence, but of course I had to go home eventually and deal with Lauren. Lauren said that she doesn't care and I told her Rachna just wanted to talk about this guy she was seeing. I guess when they were at dinner last week, Lauren was not as supportive of that pursuit as she would have liked. Lauren seems glad to be off the Rachna hook, so the issue wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then Lauren proceeded to talk about her latest revelations about dating and how its depressing that she doesn't have love or babies in her life, when it feels like everyone around her does, a lot of woe is me....poor thing.
Side note, even with my umbrella evening dew/mist/rain devastated my hair do, :( Lauren used her super hot flat iron to try to flattened it out. It is no use, it has puffed up. I am really considering locs, if I get a better job that will allow me to go to the salon to maintain them, I'm going to do it!!
Sometimes I wonder if I am two faced, clearly I say things to Rachna about Lauren, that I would not want Lauren to know, and vice versa. I feel like they are two very self-involved people and I don't mind being a sounding board, and its my natural inclination to empathize, so it feels pretty harmless. I have plenty of time and opportunities with my real friends and family to re-charge my batteries, preventing myself from wallowing in a puddle of insecurities and disappointments.
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